Better Blonde Joke

[SexyYJ88]

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer asks her some questions:

Officer: What's 2 + 2?

Blonde: Ummm... 4!

Officer: What's the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummm... 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummm... I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job.

The blonde replies excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"

[FUBAR]

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn".

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

[FUBAR]

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a frim grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when......

The Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut off the horse!

[FUBAR]

A blonde woman competed with a brunette woman and a redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke
division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead
second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted.After being revived
with blankets and coffee she remarked, "I don't want to call anybody a cheater, but I think I saw those other two girls use their arms.

[Blupupher]

HERE (http://www.google.com/search?q=blonde+jokes&sourceid=mozilla-search&start=0&start=0&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official) is the best one.

:dunno:

[Penguin]

Blupupher where did you find the Captian Caveman aviatar?????

[Ratman]

lost one I was wondering the same thing but did not want to date myself LOL

[meathead1]

great jokes my wife is blonde sent them to her at work right now LOL

[Jeepkreep]

. There was a blond bragging one day about how knowledgable she was about the state capitals. "I know them all! Go ahead, ask me one!" Her friend said, "Okay, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" "Oh, that's easy," she exclaimed, "It's W."


2. The blond girl was certain that her boyfriend was cheating. In desperation, she went out and bought a handgun. Bursting into her boyfriend's house, her fears were confirmed. He stood there in the arms of a beautiful redhead. "That's it, John!!" she screamed and placed the gun to her head. John replied, "No, honey, don't do it!" "Shut UP, John," the distraught girl cried, "you're next!"


A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, a woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things:

1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.

2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 180-pound blonde woman with a blackbelt in karate.

4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.

5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,












"Nah. Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times

Two blondes enter a restaurant, grinning wide, giving each other high fives, and repeating "Six weeks! Six weeks! Yeah!"

The waitress asks why all the jubilation.

"Well, you see," one blonde says, "we just put a jigsaw puzzle together in just six weeks ..."

"... and the box says," the other blonde chimes-in, "'Six to eight years'."