FUBAR
02-18-2005, 02:39 PM
Lesson number one: A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all
day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like
you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the
story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
high up.
Lesson number two: A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to
be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I
haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The
turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally
after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey
out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bullshiat might get you to the
top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson number three: When the body was first made, all the parts
wanted to be Boss. The brain said, " I should be Boss because I
control the whole body's responses and functions." The feet said, " We
should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he
wants to go." The hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do
all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with
the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the a$$hole being the Boss. So
the a$$hole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the
feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain
fevered. Eventually they all decided that the a$$hole should be the
Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work
while the Boss just sat and passed out the shiat! Moral of the story:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any a$$hole will do.
day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like
you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the
story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
high up.
Lesson number two: A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to
be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I
haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The
turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally
after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey
out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bullshiat might get you to the
top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson number three: When the body was first made, all the parts
wanted to be Boss. The brain said, " I should be Boss because I
control the whole body's responses and functions." The feet said, " We
should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he
wants to go." The hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do
all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with
the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the a$$hole being the Boss. So
the a$$hole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the
feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain
fevered. Eventually they all decided that the a$$hole should be the
Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work
while the Boss just sat and passed out the shiat! Moral of the story:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any a$$hole will do.