FUBAR
06-02-2005, 10:54 PM
Q. What do you call a Yugo in a car junkyard?
A. A blessing.
Q. How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A. Fill the Tank
Q. What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill?
A. A miracle
Q. How do you make a Yugo accelerate from zero to 60 mph in less than 15 seconds?
A. Push it off a cliff.
Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Yugo owner's manual?
A. The bus schedule.
Q. What did the parts dealer say when the customer said, "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Yugo"?
A. "Sounds like a fair trade to me."
Q. Why do Yugos come with heated rear windows?
A. To keep your hands warm while you're pushing them
Q. What do you call a Yugo with brakes?
A. Customized.
Q. How do you make a Yugo go faster downhill?
A. Turn off the engine.
Q. Why don't Yugos sustain much damage in a front-end collision?
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.
Q. What do you call Yugo passengers?
A. Shock absorbers
Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Yugo?
A. Park it between two 914s.
You go. Car stays.
Q. What do you call a Yugo in the fast lane of a highway?
A. A miracle!
A. Roadkill
Some used car dealers might try to reduce the miles on the odometer to make a car seem worth more money.
With a Yugo, they add miles to try and convince you it really will go that far!
"Optimist" defined: A Yugo owner with a radar detector
Q. Why do Yugo owners never carry a map?
A. It'll never get far enough to get lost!
Despite their small size, Yugos are actually designed for five people;
1 person sits in the driver's seat, and the other four would get out and push.
A thief caused $39.95 damage to a Yugo.
He broke in and stole "The Club" off the steering wheel.
Q. Do you know what you call a Yugo station wagon?
A. We-all-go
Did you hear about the Yugo/pedestrian accident?
...Poor Yugo.
"You know what they do with junked Yugo's don't you?
They recycle them into tin cans."
Here is a true saying in Croatian, which was very popular, where the car comes from (and it rhymes): "Yugo nije za dugo."
...Translation: "Yugo is not for long."
"Yugo missed out on a great slogan when Doritos took it first:
'Crunch all you want. We'll make more!'
Q. What's the difference between a Yugo and the principal's office?
A. It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.
Q: What is the sport-version of Yugo?
A: The driver wears Nike shoes.
Q: What do you call a Yugo with twin exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow
Q: What is the Yugo owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.
Q: What do you have to do if your Yugo gets in the way of a swarm of killer bees?
A: Stop pushing and take refuge into the car.
Q: What do you call a Yugo with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack
Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster uphill?
A: Throw out the passenger.
Q: What do you call a Yugo with a flat tire?
A: A write off.
Yugo has announced a new 16 Valve model for 2002.
8 in the engine, 8 in the radio.
- I can see you've got a new car - a Yugo!
- Yes, I won the second prize in a lottery.
- What was the first prize then?
- A fruit-basket!
Yugo will be introducing three new vehicles next year.
They will have a moped called an "I Go".
They will have a 4-door called a "We Go".
They will also have a new station wagon called the "Y'all Go".
Why were sidewalks invented?
So Yugo owners would have a safe place to walk home.!
What is the difference between a golf ball and a Yugo?
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards!
Q: What do Yugos have in common with Ferarris?
A: A Ferrari can go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds, whereas a Yugo can go from 0 to 4 in 60 seconds.
"The Oakland Police captured two men in their Yugo last night.
The men are being held as suspects in the city's first push-by shooting."
From the Yugo owner's manual:
"If you sense an impending accident with any other animate or inanimate object larger than a breadbox, quickly 1) place head between legs, 2) lock hands behind head, 3) Repeat:
'Our Father, who art in heaven...'"
Consumer safety tests showed that a 5 mph parking-lot crash will cause about $2800 damage to a Yugo. What's left?
About $1200 of "dealer prep."
A. A blessing.
Q. How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A. Fill the Tank
Q. What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill?
A. A miracle
Q. How do you make a Yugo accelerate from zero to 60 mph in less than 15 seconds?
A. Push it off a cliff.
Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Yugo owner's manual?
A. The bus schedule.
Q. What did the parts dealer say when the customer said, "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Yugo"?
A. "Sounds like a fair trade to me."
Q. Why do Yugos come with heated rear windows?
A. To keep your hands warm while you're pushing them
Q. What do you call a Yugo with brakes?
A. Customized.
Q. How do you make a Yugo go faster downhill?
A. Turn off the engine.
Q. Why don't Yugos sustain much damage in a front-end collision?
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.
Q. What do you call Yugo passengers?
A. Shock absorbers
Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Yugo?
A. Park it between two 914s.
You go. Car stays.
Q. What do you call a Yugo in the fast lane of a highway?
A. A miracle!
A. Roadkill
Some used car dealers might try to reduce the miles on the odometer to make a car seem worth more money.
With a Yugo, they add miles to try and convince you it really will go that far!
"Optimist" defined: A Yugo owner with a radar detector
Q. Why do Yugo owners never carry a map?
A. It'll never get far enough to get lost!
Despite their small size, Yugos are actually designed for five people;
1 person sits in the driver's seat, and the other four would get out and push.
A thief caused $39.95 damage to a Yugo.
He broke in and stole "The Club" off the steering wheel.
Q. Do you know what you call a Yugo station wagon?
A. We-all-go
Did you hear about the Yugo/pedestrian accident?
...Poor Yugo.
"You know what they do with junked Yugo's don't you?
They recycle them into tin cans."
Here is a true saying in Croatian, which was very popular, where the car comes from (and it rhymes): "Yugo nije za dugo."
...Translation: "Yugo is not for long."
"Yugo missed out on a great slogan when Doritos took it first:
'Crunch all you want. We'll make more!'
Q. What's the difference between a Yugo and the principal's office?
A. It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.
Q: What is the sport-version of Yugo?
A: The driver wears Nike shoes.
Q: What do you call a Yugo with twin exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow
Q: What is the Yugo owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.
Q: What do you have to do if your Yugo gets in the way of a swarm of killer bees?
A: Stop pushing and take refuge into the car.
Q: What do you call a Yugo with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack
Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster uphill?
A: Throw out the passenger.
Q: What do you call a Yugo with a flat tire?
A: A write off.
Yugo has announced a new 16 Valve model for 2002.
8 in the engine, 8 in the radio.
- I can see you've got a new car - a Yugo!
- Yes, I won the second prize in a lottery.
- What was the first prize then?
- A fruit-basket!
Yugo will be introducing three new vehicles next year.
They will have a moped called an "I Go".
They will have a 4-door called a "We Go".
They will also have a new station wagon called the "Y'all Go".
Why were sidewalks invented?
So Yugo owners would have a safe place to walk home.!
What is the difference between a golf ball and a Yugo?
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards!
Q: What do Yugos have in common with Ferarris?
A: A Ferrari can go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds, whereas a Yugo can go from 0 to 4 in 60 seconds.
"The Oakland Police captured two men in their Yugo last night.
The men are being held as suspects in the city's first push-by shooting."
From the Yugo owner's manual:
"If you sense an impending accident with any other animate or inanimate object larger than a breadbox, quickly 1) place head between legs, 2) lock hands behind head, 3) Repeat:
'Our Father, who art in heaven...'"
Consumer safety tests showed that a 5 mph parking-lot crash will cause about $2800 damage to a Yugo. What's left?
About $1200 of "dealer prep."