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  • Grandma on the stand

    SOUTHERN GRANDMOTHER ON THE WITNESS STAND

    Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they
    aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a southern small-town
    prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly,
    elderly woman to the stand.

    He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
    She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
    you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
    disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
    manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.

    You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize
    you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
    Yes, I know you."
    The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed

    across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
    attorney?"
    She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
    was youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
    problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and
    not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
    different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

    The defense attorney almost died.

    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a
    very
    quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows
    me,

    I'll send you to the electric chair."

  • #2
    pretty good...

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