Announcement Announcement Module
Collapse
No announcement yet.
Life Advice Page Title Module
Move Remove Collapse
X
Conversation Detail Module
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Life Advice

    i know this isnt something I should talk about in here but I some outsider opinions. My wife tried to commit suicide last week and then I found out she was going behind my back and doing drugs. First I am in the military and dont approve of drugs and also we a 3 year old son. So what I wanna know is if your spouse did this to you would you stay around?

  • #2
    Depends, did you say for better or worse? Or did you just agree to try to hang out with each other for a while.
    Sorry to sound rough but I didn't get married because I couldn't find anyone I would spend the rest of my life with. So I kinda have a very messed up view of the marrige deal, I believe you should always stick it out. You made the commitment, stay with it. Do you back out of you orders? No, you made a commitment to the military. Now if you didn't make a informed commitment then I guess you are on your own.
    Get her help if you really love her. But be ready, sometimes help is changing yourself for the better.

    Comment


    • #3
      She has been doing this almost our whole marriage which is only 4 1/2 years. So thats 4 1/2 years of lying and sneaking behind my back doing stuff. Thats what makes it kinda hard to stick it out. She is getting help

      Comment


      • #4
        I would be more concerned about your son ... sure she needs help, but your son should not be exposed to that type of atmosphere. I agree with Lost-One to some extent ... but at some point you have to cut the anchor before it sinks the ship. I have never been married either, and probably never will for this exact reason ... I don't trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die ....

        If I was you, I would do what is best for you son and get him out of there!

        Comment


        • #5
          My son is all im thinking about right now and I know he does not need to be around that crap. Then on the other side he also needs his mother, so thats what is making hard.

          Comment


          • #6
            I'm with Bret on this one. Look after the little one first. If she's getting help that's great,BUT, does she want the help is the question. If she does, stick with her....if not, take the little one and build yourselves a better life.
            The woman (I don't call her mom)that gave birth to me and my bro bailed on our family after 30(+-) years of marriage to our dad. I haven't heard from her in about 5 years. It brought us 3 guys closer together than anything in the past. My dad worked out of town all through my "formative" years and I never saw much of him growing up,but, ever since the split he and I are the best of friends. If you guys split JUST BE THERE for the little one and all will work out, I'm sure of that.


            ragg
            Last edited by raggmann; 06-29-2005, 12:27 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Sounds rough man. wish I had quality advice. seen a lot of bad marriages in the millitary, but they do have numerous support programs. best I can say to try and work it out for your son, but I'm not married nor have kids.

              Comment


              • #8
                I think you are right that a child needs both parents. But if she tried suicide I think she is very confused and can not be all of the mother she needs to be. I’m glad to hear that she is getting help but your son should be the number one priority.

                Comment


                • #9
                  A rock and a hard place...

                  99Jeep... This may be the toughest, if not the toughest decision you ever make. For your son to grow in a healthy environment, for him to feel nurtured and safe, harmony must exist between you and your wife. She has abused your trust... for many years. The line has now been drawn in the sand. Deep within ask yourself if you still love her. Then ask yourself if you can forgive her for what she has done not only to you but to your son and the future she promised each of you. Without forgiveness there will be no hope. With love and forgiveness anything is possible. If you choose to give these things to her then you will be giving her the opportunity to change for the better and build a life with you and your son. If failure is the end result, you may then walk away knowing that you extended all that a man should be expected to extend...for your son first, for your wife and yourself second. Remember that parents form circles, that children become parents and often become younger images of their own parents. If you see destruction for your son as a result of staying with this woman, break the circle now for he will be predisposed to follow the arc if you don't remove him from it. He needs harmony and love, the essential ingredients to a 'normal' life. Speak openly of these things with your wife. Sit with her during counseling. If you do still love her enough for a last try, insure that she understands this is the last time and that she will have made the decision to end it if it ends. I believe that your future peace of mind will thank you for this route if you choose it.

                  All the advice in the world won't dissuade you from listening to your own heart. May it speak with your son's well being as the foremost priority and remember that without the ability to forgive you are doomed to failure. Good luck with this and may God be with you and your young family during the coming turbulence. These words probably don't amount to a decent two cents but they are genuine and written with thought from my heart. I know the sort of pain that can come with a situation like this.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Blackwater,
                    that was very deep and extremly well put. Kinda gives us ALL something to think about.

                    ragg

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Dam* Blackwater you brought tears to my eyes. That was the best advise I have ever read.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        blackwater thank you for what you said, it meant a whole lot. I have a month to think of what I really want, she goes into rehab when she gets out the sike ward. What I really hate is that I dont know if I wanna keep trying. I have been trying and really the only one keeping this family together for at least the last two years.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          You're Welcome...

                          I wish you the best, 99jeepwrangler. Take a cruise in the Jeep and think it over. Nice place to think, those Jeeps.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            If it would stop raing I would love to take the top off and go out in the jeep. I thank everyone for there thoughts.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              You got alot ahead of you as blackwater had said.
                              I to went through a simular thing and no matter what you do or want she has to be willing to split the effort. Best of luck to all 3 of ya. Remember that time can cure a lot of wounds. Things that you don't feel you can live through today seem so small in the years from now. Hang in there

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X