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  • Solutions for life's little problems...

    Some of you may have seen some of these before but I got this from a friend today and thought it was at least kinda funny even if they don't all work....


    Andy Rooney's tips for telemarketers

    Three Little Words That Work !!
    (1)The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."
    Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.
    Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.
    These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting. (I know we have all talked about this one before on this forum.)

    (2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?
    This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.
    This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.
    What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!! (I don't know if this is true or not.)

    (3) Junk Mail Help:
    When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.
    When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 37 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back. It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.
    One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.
    Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back! If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.
    You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 37 cents.
    The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!
    Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea !
    If enough people follow these tips, it will work---- I have been doing this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore. (This is my personal favorite. I think it is a great idea!!!)

  • #2
    I like it!

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    • #3
      Oh man am I going to enjoy this. Thanks a bunch....I hate telemarketers and junk mail.

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      • #4
        I like the idea with sending the junkmail BACK to the sender.
        Sheer genius!

        I'm kinda tempted to try the "#" key method on the telephone calls, but I'm satisfied with my current method.

        Caller ID-- if its "Unavailable" with no number.. I no pick up.

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        • #5
          no more nice guy...

          jeffm3434 -- I value your adroit advice, but I am ashamed to tell you what I do, because Andy Rooney, -- well he's such a cream puff.

          Even though I have callerID, which I find daily, is increasingly made useless by business priorities; I have taken to answering the phone and then I make sure the caller's day is finished. They have a 'neediness' of which they are unaware; and that makes them prey, instead of predator; and I, -- well I have no regrets. 'Business'? Oh yes, I'm taking care of business.
          The Irish don't get mad, we get even. And then some...

          After all, no one compelled the caller to put my number in their dialer, so -- "Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread".

          I think Tex on our forum explains it quite succinctly in his signature. Having had the pleasure of being the companion of two adorable Dobies myself, I certainly understand why he choose to opine in another thread that "...i know too much about the marines for bein 16. lol"

          I remember when being 16 referred to "being 16 and never been kissed". I don't think a Marine thinks about those sorts of things, because he's too busy manning the wall and remembering that Uncle Chesty, refers to

          Fleet Admiral Chester William Nimitz

          and I suspect Chesty wouldn't want his Marines bending over for 'business' so why should we?
          Last edited by tj2go; 09-14-2005, 10:47 PM. Reason: whatever...

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          • #6
            Originally posted by tj2go
            jeffm3434 -- I value your adroit advice
            As I said... not really my advice. This was something that was sent to me in email so I just forwarded it along mostly b/c I thought the junkmail solution was a fairly novel idea. And I can neither deny nor confirm the source as actually being Andy Rooney... he does seem to get credit for much that floats around the internet.

            As far as the phone goes... I just don't answer it unless I know who it is and want to talk to them. If they really need me, they can leave a message and I will call them back when when and if I feel like it. I see my home phone and my cell phone as a convenience for ME... not for everyone else. I only talk to someone when I want to not necessarily when THEY want to talk to me.

            Unfortunately I don't have the quite the same control over my mailbox... so sending the crap back is a nice touch. Something I will probably take the time to do.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by jeffm3434
              As I said... not really my advice. This was something that was sent to me in email so I just forwarded it along mostly b/c I thought the junkmail solution was a fairly novel idea. And I can neither deny nor confirm the source as actually being Andy Rooney... he does seem to get credit for much that floats around the internet.

              As far as the phone goes... I just don't answer it unless I know who it is and want to talk to them. If they really need me, they can leave a message and I will call them back when when and if I feel like it. I see my home phone and my cell phone as a convenience for ME... not for everyone else. I only talk to someone when I want to not necessarily when THEY want to talk to me.

              Unfortunately I don't have the quite the same control over my mailbox... so sending the crap back is a nice touch. Something I will probably take the time to do.


              I don't answer my phone. If you want to talk to me, leave a message and when it is convenient for me I will call you back, if I am close I might pick up.

              I don't carry a cell phone any more.

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              • #8
                A good idea for the telephone solicitors is to get on the national do not call list. I did this and haven't received a telemarketer for over a year. Everyone should do this, it really works!!!

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                • #9
                  I'm on the do-not-call list too. I also signed up for some federal opt-out list for mail. The telemarketing calls and junk mail have nearly ceased. The only exception is that companies you already do business with are still allowed to send you stuff. So I still get a little.

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                  • #10
                    I figured out how to completely end the telemarketers. I cancelled my phone service & use a voice over IP company (packet . Since I already have cable internet, it's $20 per month for unlimited calls in US & Canada. What's even better is that as long as my wife doesn't sign us up for anything, we aren't listed anywhere but in a few close friend's address books.

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                    • #11
                      I had a friend of a friend that kept getting unsolicited mail from MCI. And Im not talking about the monthly newsletter or anything, nearly everyday, he would recieve at least 1 if not more peices of mail from MCI. So he went to the post office and asked some questions about the return envelopes(the ones that doesnt specify how much the stamp is worth but just say something like "postage prepaid" or something like that). Apparently, you can use those envelopes to send a package as long as the envelope is securely attached somewhere visible on the top of the box. SO this guy gets a great plan to get MCI back. He gets a box and goes through is trashcan and just fills up the box, with anything and everything. Their own unsolicited mail, food boxes, banana peels, just anything. And stuffs it all in that box and securely attached the envelope to the top of the box and drops it off at the post office. And they take it and mail it. Id like to see the face of the person that recieved that package at MCI when they opened it. Needless to say the guy doesnt get any more mail from them.

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